I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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