Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
