no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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