I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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