Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
