I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
