She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
