New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
