if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
