He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
