Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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