The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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