I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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