He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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