Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
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Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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