Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
