Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
