eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
