She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
