Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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