the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
someone owes me an orgasm
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
