Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I want to fling myself into the sun
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
