Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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