I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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