you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
