its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize