so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
