So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
