Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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