I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
