Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize