He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
