Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize