Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize