did you get engaged???
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
