ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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