Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME