he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I forget how to act sober
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