I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
