You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize