yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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