i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm really busy with my period
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