Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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