he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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