Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
