Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
