I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
