Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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