He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
