so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Never underestimate the power of titties
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
