So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
