Where is the hickey?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
