Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize