peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
