In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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