The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize