Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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