I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
