Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
